Thanks

Thank you to all who commented here and on Facebook, I do appreciate even just someone typing "hugs" to me.

I'm still a bit ...... off ...... today. I really struggled to be all smily at work and the new pills are making me dozey, I might move the morning dose to when I get home, it's only an hour later and I can have a banana or something with it, that way the drowsiness will hit while I'm at home and be mostly gone before afternoon shift.

To be honest I want the time between now and the scan (still no news on that) off work, I want time to mentally adjust to the suggestions instead of trying to stick to work. Bizarre. When I lost Lou I threw myself into work, now there's something wrong in my head I want time off.

It's only Tuesday. I'm knackered, my thoughts are a smoky mass and I just feel blah.

If I haven't heard anything about the scan by Friday's post I shall ring Halifax and find out what's going on. I hope I'll have a date before the weekend, it's entirely sorted by them and they've had the request since 11.30am Monday.

Jo and I apparently have very different reactions to this sort of news. I was telling him last night and he kept laughing, I nearly bit his head off but that is his way of coping.

I need time, I need not to worry that I have to be at x by y or whatever.

Whatever the result it seems I'm headed for surgery. If it's a tumour then surgery to remove it, if it isn't then surgery to stop me eating and eating. I looked up the hypothalamus and what it does, pretty impressive piece of kit actually. If it is damaged that would explain a LOT, like why I run colder than lots of people, why my moods are what they are, why my immune system is fubar, why hunger is such an issue with me and why my sleep is so utterly fooked.

I need sleep. I slept like a log to midnight, pee'd for ages, slept to Jo's alarm and then was in the wrong sleep phase when my alarm went off. I'm getting right royally p'd off by Jo's alarm. I know he has to get up at 4am to get washed and dressed and plan lessons but it screws my sleep to buggery. I hope I get this night job I've sent the form in for, then I'll be able to sleep while Jo is out and therefore no alarm to disturb me before mine.

h-c Alison's stocking is going well, done the gusset decreases, just working some length on the foot then it's a rounded toe and done. I'm going to try and get to that point by next Tuesday so I can get help on Kitchener, last time I tried it from umpteen videos and notes it looked absolutely crap so I'm hoping someone telling me each and every step might work. How funny I'm going to ask Alison to help with h-c Alison's stocking.

On the plus side, the Diamox capsules are working, my eye feels better today and it's not quite so easy to make it go fuzzy. I have drunk 2l of fluids already today and it's not my peak drinking time yet. I get thirsty atleast once an hour if not twice and each time I take a big swig. Got to the knit'n'knatter and downed a pint of squash as soon as I'd made it.

Aaaaanyhooooooo. That's about it really, emptied my thoughts that I can find onto here and now I'm gonna go either knit or spin, not sure yet. Ash is calling to me with his part-spun milk protein.