"mama" Lou Bennett (???? to Feb 5th 2009)

I write this as lou still potters round, sniffing her toys one last time, ignoring the boys one last time. Tonight, as I plucked her out of the cage she gave me The Look. The one no owner can wholly describe but the one that talks straight to your heart and says "Mum, I've had enough, it's time to go" My little girl is gone already, gone to a place free of pain, all that's left is a shell in pain.

She doesn't want to boss, ferretone holds no lure and her limbs are weak, she's just going through the motions of another day. So Thursday I shall ring the vets and arrange it. No more surgery, no more pills and liquids, she said stop and I stop. Thursday morning I shan't medicate her, just give her a cuddle before going to work and coming home to make the call.

So, my account of wonderful girl and her 2 years, 4 months with me (with photos):

In late July 2006 I arrived at the animal shelter to find a beautiful, starved little jill with 9 kits looking at me

("twiggy")

She had used everything in her body to ensure those 9 little bundles of fur got to 7 weeks old, she was still feeding them then and even though she was a walking skeleton with nipples she was full of energy. She would pace her pen the exact width of the feeding area of the hutch she'd been in, 1.5feet back and forth, she would climb the sides and fuss whenever she heard or saw a human outside the pen. I would sit in the pen with her and the 9 kits for hours a day and after a week she trusted me enough to get some sleep while I minded them. She never bit me or even hissed at me. Over the first two weeks I fattened her up with personal meals while the kits got to tear into half a chicken breast or some minced beef.

August 2006 I reserved Smithy who had come in as stray and not been claimed. Once he was neutered I introduced him to Lou and the kits to see if they got on, I wanted to give him some pals to come home with.
(Smithy's big bum and a Lou kit)

Well, they got on like they'd always known eachother and Smithy adored bouncing around with the kits. That week I selected Lou, one of her kits and one of the 6 other kits that had been handed in. My gang of 4 was formed.

(from right to left: Lou, Smithy, Barry at back and Thomas front left)

September 2006 they came home with me.

January 2007 and she has a beautiful, thick coat:

(Lou sniffing, Barry looking at the camera)

She never grew it again.

By March 2007 I had 6 ferrets and Lou was starting to come out of her shell. At first she never played, she'd potter about the room for 15 minutes then go back to bed but the boys taught her to play and she slowly spent longer and longer outside the cage. At first when she'd throw herself into play she'd suddenly look shocked at the whole idea and would put more energy than usual into pottering about.

August 2007 and she's playing more and staying out of the cage as long as the boys. I notice a lump in her neck, I see a vet but he's useless and calls her a rodent. November 2007 the lump that hadn't done anything started to grow, I take her to a new vet in our new town and they give her some anti-biotics, a week later it isn't gone so they take a sample, pus comes out and they operate to lance the abcess. Lou spends the next 3 days with me flushing out the wound and being a fusspot and then a further week on the antibiotics, the lump goes.

January 2008 it comes back, we lance it again, treat it again and it keeps going, we lance it a third time, it takes 6 weeks for the wound to heal and I vow never to put her through that again. We keep on and off antibiotics and Metacam until August 2008 when it has been gone for a month. We stop the medication.

She sees snow for the first time with me, she has a look before coming for a warm cuddle with me:

(Lou and David consider it)

From April 2008 Lou is a bouncy, happy-go-lucky jill who even plays with me. She bosses the boys aroound, bounces on them, behaves like a kit and fully enjoys herself. She turns 7 but you wouldn't think it.

(Smithy tries to corner her in a sweet tub)


(Smithy grabs her)


(She gets him back)


(Standing proud, watching all)

December 2008 the lump comes back. More AB's, more Metacam and it goes only to come back after Christmas. The vet and I agree something is in her neck causing infection after infection so we attack it with more AB's in the hope of reducing it enough to be removed.

February 2009 it just kept growing. Her neck is 3" thick and rock hard, the mass makes her choke on food but she still eats and plays.

February 4th 2009, 7.10PM: I go to give Lou her medication, we sit down and as I cradle her she looks at me and I see she's given up. She's had enough and wants it all to end. I tell her okay, give her the last lot of medication and let them all out. Lou goes round the room, following routine but seeing nothing. My husband stands the other side of the barrier and she shows no interest and I know that is it. Thursday morning I will ring the vet, cancel her Friday appt. and arrange euthanasia. I will not leave her, I will be with her to the last second and then I shall bring her body home so the boys may see she is gone.

February 5th 2009, 10.25am: Lou passed over. She fell asleep on my chest calm and happy that she knew this was the end. She felt no pain, nor struggled, just qui

Dook on my gorgeous girl. I hope over the bridge you are fit and healthy and forget the horrors you must have seen.

I will miss you with all my heart. Thank you for all you taught me.

I remmebered your favourite toy, a toilet roll tube with a rattly plastic ball in, you'd push it around wiht your head inside for ages. I hope you have it where you are and that Pippi, your lost daughter is with you once again.


Editing to add this lovely tale from Little SIr Echo, a ferret across the bridge who lets us know our babies are safe across the bridge:

a glorious shimmering light awakened me from my nap. I raced to the bridge with Pippi, who had grown up here on this side of the bridge. The light came slowing across the bridge, and when it settled on our side, out came a beautiful jill named Lou.

Lou was Pippi's ferret mommy, and when they saw each other it was like they had never been apart. Lou settled down covering Pippi, who cooed and curled into her mom. They were like that for a long time, and many of us stood in awe of the glorious reunion that is mother and kit.

We went to the reflecting pool to see Lous' human mommy, and with her eyes bright and fur shining, she told her mommy that she was completely healed of the abscess that had troubled her for so long, that her human mommy worked so hard to keep her well from. She wants her mommy to know that she is glad that she was able to know what Lou was telling her, and is forever grateful for the love it took to let her come to the bridge. It is a special kind of love, living forever.

Oh, and Lou's mommy? That special toy is right here. Thank you.